Friday, August 31, 2007


One of the first things I wanted to do, after getting settled in was to sign up at a gym. I have been wanting to get back into shape and regain some (OK, all) of the muscle tone that I feel I have lost since having BB2. Plus, going to the gym is one of the things that I do solely for me. It's my time. Time for me to focus on my body and in doing that it helps to calm my mind and helps me to deal with the stresses in life that inevitably come my way. It's helps too having a day care in the gym that my kids love going to and that I know they are happy playing in while I focus on me.

So, after pretty intense workouts Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday (and yes, I was really sore), I decided I needed a really good stretch so on Thursday I went to the Power Yoga class. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I love yoga. I did it prior to and during my 2nd pregnancy and have been hooked ever since. Each class is different and brings different things to your body and mind. As I stretch and go through the poses I find myself opening up and just letting go. They say it has to do with releasing tension and stress that builds up in your joints throughout the day, but I also thinks it's the mental focus on just breathing that really opens you up. Someone wise once said that when you breath you have everything that you really need. So simple and yet so true.

So at the beginning of class, the teacher said to pick one word or one thing that we wanted to work on during our time together. I choose balance. This one word became my focus during my practice, and even though my original intent was to try and stay in balance in the poses and not fall over, as I continued through my practice I realized that there were a few other areas that the concept of balance could and should be applied to as well. Balance in my mind, Balance in my emotions, Balance in my speech and tone (I think I have been yelling a little more than I want to with my kids), Balance in my behavior, Balance in my anger (lately, I have a very short fuse), Balance in my spirituality, Balance in my appetite, Balance in my passions.

All of these areas need attention and focus. When one thing is getting more attention or even going to the extreme limits, it throws off everything else in my life. There are times where I feel like I am supposed to be wonder woman and take care of and fix everything and anything that comes along. Granted most of the pressure I put upon myself and it contributes to a lot of the imbalances and stress in my life. It comes from being a perfectionist and wanting things done a certain way. But I have also learned to let go and relax and try and let others do things the way they want them done and not worry about everything, especially the things I can't change.

I LOVE the calmness and peace that come at the end of class when we enter deep relaxation. My mind feels like it is melting into itself and I really feel a connection with my heartbeat and my breath. Needless to say I am renewed, reinvigorated and ready to face what is ahead of me each day when I take the time to just breathe.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Things We Love



Big Helpers
Sand Boxes

Baby Dolls
Mac & Cheese
Family Times


Little Miss Independent

Yep - that's my girls. No doubt about it! Today BB2 decided to climb up our stairs, all by herself. Mind you, we have been working on how to go up the stairs, but she is still a little shaky on the coming down part (she thinks she can just turn around and scoot/step off) So, imagine my surprise when I run upstairs to put something away and not a minute later, I turn around and there is little miss independent at the TOP of the stairs. She buggied up the stairs so fast (and thankfully didn't try to turn around or this post might involve another ER story.)

BB2 has also taken her first independent steps (on Tuesday to be exact) and if we can just convince her that she can get around just as fast, if not faster, than her current scooting method, she will be walking in no time.

Now BB1, who lately might better be referred to as Little Miss Sassy, has been having a hard time of it. There have been enough of those moments for a whole separate blog, but I am trying to leave the past where it belongs - in the past. She is also growing more and more independent with each passing day and I realize at times I just have to step back and watch and let thing happen as they will and hope (and pray) that the rules and lessons and all the things I have tried to teach her have sunk in.

She is going to be experiencing so many new things this year with Kindergarten, and I just hope I have the patience and emotional strength to help guide her through all the ups and downs life will eventually bring her.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Renewed and Ready to Tackle Another Day

In between moving and getting settled into our new home, I had a birthday come and go. This year I got to celebrated it in grand fashion by getting an actual vacation with NO KIDS. (A million thanks to Nana and CeeCee and their families for taking in and watching the girls and to Papa Bear for making the arraignments in the first place)

In short the vacation was heaven - that is if heaven is 100+ degrees. Papa Bear and I went down for a spa/golf midweek getaway in Mesquite, Nevada. Not your typical vacation place, but let me tell you, it was everything I needed. We stayed 2 nights at the Casa Blanca hotel and you can select either a 2 person golf package, or a 2 person spa package or a mix of the two. I took the Spa. Papa Bear took the Golf.

We arrived on Wednesday and just checked out the hotel, pool and amenities. That night we had a fabulous steak dinner in their restaurant and not once did I have to worry about cutting anything smaller or moving knives out of the way of curious little fingers. After dinner we went to the casino where Papa Bear and I learned all about the wonderful game of Craps. I won about $80 from my initial starting amount of $20. Of course I lost it as the night wore on, but hey - we were on vacation and it was all in fun. We took in the band that was playing in the lounge. The singers changed their outfits with each set and I swear I saw no less than 6 different color suits on them during the course of the night.

That next day Papa Bear went golfing in 100+ weather (more power to him, especially as it was 9:15 AM) and I lounged by the pool. I slide down the slide and felt like a kid again, especially when the water shot up my nose as I splashed down at the bottom of the slide into the pool. Good Times. And not once did I have to worry about 50+ SPF, floaties, swim goggles or swim diapers.

In the afternoon I got a pedicure with paraffin dip. My feet have never been happier. Then after a few hours lounging by the pool, I went and hung out at the Spa. I sat in a eucalyptus steam room, swam in a fabulous private pool (where for just a moment I felt a little like polar bears in the zoo must feel like when they are in their deep pools and natural habitats) I sat in their relaxation room where for the first time in a long time I got to read an entire magazine from cover to cover and not once was I distracted by little ones asking countless questions. Just a few more bits of heaven. Finally it was time for my hour long Swedish massage. It was the icing on the cake. There is NOTHING in life better than a massage especially one done with just the right amount of pressure to push away all the stress and leave you feeling calm, sleepy and relaxed. I think I floated back to my room that night.

For two days I didn't think about my kids (well, maybe a little) but I really tried to use this time to remember who I was (and still am at my core) but who usually gets pushed aside in lieu of being mom.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I love being a mom. I have no regrets with where my life has taken me, but sometimes I need to step away from my kids and see if I still am the person I remember being before them. And I need to be given a chance to actually miss them and look forward to seeing them. I needed to spend some one on one time with my husband and not feel like I was splitting my attention to him with two little ones. I needed to have this time to reconnect with him and remember what "us" time felt like. BTW - it's wonderful. This trip gave me all those things and therefore I am renewed and ready to tackle another day!!

Taking it one box at a time

It has been a great week of unpacking and rediscovery of all of our earthly possessions. I felt I needed to share some of the key highlights and little fun things we have had happen over the last week

Lesson 1 - If you ever use a professional moving company - they will pack anything and everything, including the trash, and dirty dishes, and even rocks. One box will contain 2 items you want and 15 you don't. 80% of your box will be packing paper.

Lesson 2 - Children do take in everything you tell them, even when you think they aren't listening. All week I have been telling BB1 to use the hands, ears, eyes etc. that God has given her as we have been unpacking and putting things away. Mostly it has been said in frustration after asking her to put something away, or to move out of the way as we have been moving furniture and boxes around to different rooms. (She always seems to stand in the exact spot you don't want her.)
How I know the lesson has sunk in was as we were leaving the grocery store last night and I was backing the car out of our parking spot, I had to stop suddenly as a person appeared out of no where at the back of my car. This person was on his cell phone and oblivious to anything going on around him especially our moving car, and had I not noticed him I probably would have hit him. I said something about him being an idiot and putting the cell phone away (some people really shouldn't try and multi-task) but what sealed the moment was BB1 piping up in the back ground saying "I guess he wasn't using the brain God gave him." Priceless.

Lesson 3 - Always try to remember what it's like to be a child. There is a line in a movie that BB1 loves to watch that goes something like this "The things that would concern an adult would never concern a child" and this is so true because no matter how many times I tell BB1 that we have plans for the day, her primary focus is to go out and do something fun. It does not seem to matter if she has been told no we will not be going over to the neighbors house or to the park because within 5 minutes of being told no, she is asking to play with her friends all over again. It tries my patience to no end, but rather than get mad or irritated I am trying to remember what it was like to be 5 and see a huge big world and to feel so comfortable in it that all I want to do is run around and find fun people to hang out with who will just run around with me.
I am trying to remember the joy of a garden hose and how much fun it can be to run the water over your toes or run through the spray and feel nothing but delight rather than worrying about getting wet. I am trying to remember the joy of swinging in a swing and sliding down a slide with naught a care in the world.
It's helping me to deal more calmly with the millionth request to go outside and do something fun when I have a million things inside I should be taking care of.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Home Sweet Home!!

Yes everybody - We have moved into the house and now the real fun begins. The drama of closing is behind us and a bright shiny hopefully happy future is before us. Now, if we can just get through all the boxes and paper and find a place to put everything, we will be just fine.

Not that I am worried as this house has more storage and closet space than I ever thought I would need. It's crazy. I am still finding new little surprises every day like under counter lighting and above counter lighting and just little things that make my day that much brighter.

I keep telling BB1 there is a place for everything and everything needs to be in it's place. This is mainly to try and teach her the basic principles of putting her toys, clothes, shoes away in the same place so that the next time she goes looking for them, she will know where to go. It is very exasperating at times to feel like I am the only one in the house who is expected to know where everything and anything is at any given moment of the day. Then if it can't be found I feel the pressure to pull a Houdini and make it appear. All I'm saying is with a four person household, it's just a lot for one person to keep track of. But BB1 is trying and that's all I can ask for.

One other little tid-bit before I close - Apparently we have moved into the land of the 5-year-olds. This Neighborhood is filled with them. Of course this is heaven for BB1 and every hour if not every half an hour she is asking me if she can go and play with her new friend and off she goes (sometimes) without even waiting for my answer. I have to admit that most of the time I love her independence and strong sense of self and her belief in herself that she can make friends where ever she goes. I hope she never looses that ability to see people as friends first and then get to know the details, rather than have it be the other way around.

Now it's time to get back to my boxes and unpacking.